Come On Baby Light My Fire

As we discuss the topic of sex and how it relates to the overall desire between men and women, we find many different factors that can determine their overall differences as it relates to their "sexual peak."


There are varying reports that show men and women peak at different ages. This can sometimes make it difficult for couples to "be on the same page" so to speak. In our practice when couples come in with marital issues, invariably, sexual dysfunction is a common concern. One of the major issues is that they each have a complete set of reasons why they may or may not be interested in sex at the same time.


Women, for example, have hormones that seem to get "out of whack" with having children and with breastfeeding. In a report published in Healthy women, by Susan Kellogg Spadt, Ph.D, C.R.N.P., I.F., C.S.T. (Links to an external site.)we learn that "levels of estrogen are lower while breastfeeding. Estrogen is responsible for maintaining the moistness and flexibility of the vaginal lining, so if levels drop and the lining becomes dry and stiff, intercourse may be uncomfortable. Additionally, while you're breastfeeding your body produces higher levels of the hormone prolactin, which serves to reduce sexual desire. And, finally, levels of testosterone are also lower in breastfeeding women. This "male" hormone plays a role in a woman's overall libido." https://www.healthywomen.org/content/ask-expert/1371/breastfeeding-causing-diminished-sexual-desire. (Links to an external site.)Women need sleep during this time more than they desire sex. This can be difficult for men to understand as they are feeling that they are taking a "back seat" to children. Women may also have a significant decrease in Estrogen as well as Testosterone and need to have their levels checked.


Men, on the other hand, have reasons for their own lack or decrease in sexual desire. Their financial responsibilities and amount of time that they spend working can reduce their desire as well. We see quite a few patients in our office where men complain that they have sexual dysfunction. A lot of this is a decrease in Testosterone. When this is corrected they feel better about themselves and have a renewed desire for sex.


We know that men and women need to feel close to each other and having sexual desire is one way to stay connected. Men and women peak sexually at different ages which can be another factor in staying connected. We have a handout that we use with our patients to figure out how they see their relationship sexually and their marriage overall. I have attached it in case you would like to print it for your use.
https://byui.instructure.com/files/13703538/download?download_frd=1&verifier=nRBItEHVz7FtncEfJDjVqjnQMcUKFi3x3CLNKheY


The more we feel comfortable with our spouse, the more we will open up with them and share our wants and desires sexually. My husband and I are 62 and 66 and at our "old" age we have worked through our issues and are comfortable sharing our desires.


By keeping the commandments and communicating effectively, couples can have a healthy and fulfilling sex life.