Parenting with Love--How to love them when you don't really like them.

Parenting with Love

      Children can be our biggest joy and our greatest sorrow.  When they are first placed in our arms as our new and perfect creation, we feel the most love we have ever felt in our lives.  That love grows leaps and bounds as time goes on. 

     Then before you know it comes the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, endless feedings, hormone catastrophes, and demands from the rest of the world.  What happened to that euphoric feeling we had seconds after their birth? LIFE!!! 

     So what do we do now? We have just encountered this little angel in the terrible twos and they tell us that they hate us.  How do we feel and what do we do? We can feel a rush of anger, disappointment, disbelief that such a tiny creature could spew such ugliness or we can take a step back and understand their frustration and choose to love them anyway.  

     While we always love our children, we may not always like them. Think about that for a moment. Is it them we don't like, or their behavior that we abhor?  The latter is hopefully the correct response. How do we separate the two? When we remember that our Heavenly Father may feel the same way, it gives us hope that we can become more loving and forgiving like He is.

     In our text, chapt 10 (Successful marriages...)  we learn "Although consequences are important to the learning process, punishment is not always the answer to misbehavior. Seeking to understand the underlying causes of the misbehavior can help parents treat the core problem and not just react to symptoms."

     How do we survive the terrible two's, tweens and teens? There is a great course called Love and Logic that I highly recommend for anyone thinking of becoming a parent or already a parent.  This course will teach you the tricks of the trade as you gain a greater understanding as you utilize effective parenting on a greater level than you ever thought possible.

     Children need consistency and actually thrive on it.  As we provide them with the security of knowing how things are supposed to be, they will be better equipped to do what we expect. This idea can sometimes be easier for fathers because they aren't spending all day long with the children and being emotionally worn down. 

     When we emotionally and physically take care of ourselves, we will have the strength to be more loving and forgiving of our children.  

     Hang in there and before you know it, the greatest joys will be yours....Grandchildren!!!

Hart, Craig H., Newell, Lloyd D., Ha, Julie H. “Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship” (Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Chapter 10 Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.