Temples and the Importance of Keeping Sacred Covenants

A Temple covenant is something that should never be taken lightly.  A covenant is a two-way promise that you make with your Heavenly Father. We know he will always keep his side of the agreement, the rest is up to us. 

As we actively pursue obtaining a Temple recommend and maintaining our worthiness, we will find our lives are blessed beyond measure.  This does not mean, however, that our lives will be free of struggles and trials. Sometimes the harder we try, it seems as though things go in a direction that we hadn't planned on. 

What do we do if we live in a place where no Temple is available for us to attend or there is no financial way for us to travel? It is important that we prepare spiritually and meet with your local leader and obtain a worthy recommend anyway.  We need to be prepared at all times. 

Satan looks for a "foothole" constantly so that he can tear apart that very event that we prepared so reverently for. Satan and his Minions are actively pursuing us and our families.  They are ready at a seconds notice to jump right in and destroy our very lives. 

As we continue to be worthy of a Temple recommend, we will lessen our chances of being captured by the very chains of destruction. The Atonement is there for all of us to partake in.  Our most wayward children can return to the path toward exaltation. We must continually pray for their return. As we love unconditionally, they can feel our love and support. We must not lose hope and as we grow in our faith, we will see miracles.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us that "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children" and "parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness,...to teach them to love and serve one another".
If any of us have experienced a wayward child, you will appreciate the counsel given in Chapter 16, p 173, of our text that states, "There is every reason to believe that the wayward children of righteous parents will, in the end, receive salvation." This gives all of us the hope we need. 

In Alma 34:32 we read "this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors". There is no time like the present to get our lives in order and make and keep sacred covenants. 

   

   

Pehrson, Kyle L., Cook, Ron and Madse, Nancy L.They Cannot Be Lost: Temple Covenants Save Families (Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Chapter 3 Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

                                            

How to have and maintain a Divorceless Marriage

You have probably heard that marriage is a 50-50 adventure.  We have since changed that thought process to believe that marriage is a 100-100 adventure.  When we only give half and expect the other to give half, we can be upside down when that doesn't happen.  In the previous blog post, I reviewed the importance of continued dating after marriage.  There are several other aspects that one needs to draw focus on such as a spiritual connection.  As we make the Savior part of each and every day, we will have the strength necessary to battle and slay the dragons that come at us. As we pray together, share our faith and deepen our friendship, we will grow and stay closer as a couple.

Dr. Randy Bott, Ph.D. has a book called Divorceless Marriage.  He speaks of the importance of communication and how vital it is in all relationships.  As we learn how to communicate, we can develop a greater love for each other which will allow us to become even better friends. 

Friendship is the glue that will hold a marriage together even when passion may dip in your relationship.  When we build any relationship on the basis of friendship, we will have that support when we need to rely on someone else the most. 

Forgiveness is also a key element in any relationship.  Learning to say you're sorry without adding a "but" in there will be sincere.  When we say "I'm sorry, but if you hadn't done XYZ...I wouldn't have done that". Instead say "I'm sorry I hurt you, please forgive me". Leave it at that and be sincere with your apology.  It doesn't matter whether you pushed them off a cliff or accidentally bumped them off, the end result is the same.  Choose your words wisely and kindly.  


Elder Bruce C. Hafen (2005, p. 76-77) teaches us that "when troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away.  They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they're receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through". Our commitment is vital in enduring all the bumps in the road that will inevitably come our way. 

In our text, (p 35, chapter 3), we are taught "Couples gradually drift apart because they lack infusions of bonding and intimacy. They become victims of the “cold gravy syndrome.” Following his counsel can help us in our quest to stay happily married. 

Bott, R. L. (1997). Divorceless marriage: put it first, make it last, Salt Lake City, UT: Millennial Press. 

 1997 Hafen, B.C. (2005). Covenant Hearts Marriage and the Joy Ofhuman Love. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.


Duncan, Stephen F., McCarty, Sara S. Duncan, Zasukha,(Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Chapter 3 Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

                          Kiss me with your eyes wide open.

                                                    

                                                   
As we venture out on dating before marriage, there are a few hints and tips that you may want to consider. There can be a lot of stress as you decide what to do on a date.  It seems that the guys tend to have more of a challenge of this than the gals.  The following may help with this process.

a. Each of you makes a list of 10 dates that you would like to go on. If you put your ideas on strips of construction paper you can each fold them up and put them in a decorated container and draw from them on Monday for a date on Friday. Make 3 color strips.  The red strip can be for the activity, the yellow can be for the dessert and the blue can be for a meal. You will have 60 strips of paper in your container.  One week, someone picks a strip from each color and the next week the other one does.  This allows for a variety and takes the stress away from trying to decide on Friday night what you both want to do.  By doing this at the beginning of the week, it allows for plans to be made.  An example of the 3 strips might be a burger at Smash Burger, bumper cars and Dairy Queen for dessert. The rule is that unless you both agree, you must do whatever is on the strip of paper. If you are dating someone for the first time, this may not work but you may try it for a follow-up date.  When you are married, this can be especially fun.  How many times do you get a babysitter and then get in the car and say "well what do you want to do" and visa versa?

b. Be sure to ask someone out with plenty of notice.  Sometimes you may get lucky and the other person will be available at the last minute.

Dating before marriage can be a lot of fun but serious dating can bring a couple closer together.  One of the things you have to be cautious of is staying Chaste.  There is a CD by Curtis Jacobs called "How to be Chaste while being Chased.  This is one of the best CD's I have listened to. It teaches us how to date while staying morally clean.

Some very good advice comes from Successful marriages and families chapter 2 where it states "In all the preparations to get acquainted, build up a relationship, commit to marriage, and especially to get married, do not forget to continue to prepare for marriage."

Dating after marriage is something that tends to fall by the way-side but is extremely important if not more important.  It is vital to keep the flame alive especially when real life gets in the way such as finances, extended family and children.  Take time for your marriage and be sure to put it first and foremost.
If we give our spouse a 10-second kiss each and every day, we will have that connection that can be lost before you know it. The ABC's of successful romantic relationship development are essential to be followed.  They are Meeting, Dating and Choosing an Eternal Companion. It is a process that shouldn't be taken lightly.  Give it your all. As the term states, "Kiss Me With Your Eyes Wide Open, that means to see exactly what you are getting yourself into as you do.  Be aware of what is happening and stay faithful. It is also fun to try and kiss your date or spouse with your eyes open sometimes.  Try it for fun!!!

Jacobs, Curtis (2004, January) "How to be Chaste While Being Chased" retrieved from
https://deseretbook.com/p/how-chaste-while-being-chased-curtis-jacobs-4570

 (Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.