Are you in a Covenant or Contractual Marriage?

     While both are legal in the eyes of the law, a covenant marriage is more of a commitment-based marriage. When we enter into a commitment marriage, we are promising to be with that person regardless of circumstance. Our vows are a covenant in that we are not professing our commitment based on what the other person will do for us. We offer ourselves to them as a gift without the requirement of return. If we did require a return, that would be a contractual marriage only. Most marriages are part contractual and part covenant.


     When we fully commit, we agree to stay with someone regardless how easy or difficult life becomes. We don’t bail on the relationship when things don’t go as we had hoped. Commitment is an attitude. If we truly decide that we are really in it for the “long haul”, we will find it easier to work at our marriage when things get tough. Children are the ones who ultimately lose when parents decide to divorce. There are far more side effects for the children than the parents (providing parents aren't divorcing due to abuse) once they divorce. I will be addressing this in detail in a future blog.


     How do we deal with a marriage when your spouse decides that they don’t want to be with you? Do we give up or do we fight for what we have? Are we willing to take a hard look at our situation and see what we can do to make the situation better? If we remember that we can only control ourselves and not the other person, we will have a much easier time dealing with restoring that which is failing. No one can make us mad, we either choose to be mad or choose not to be. The choice is all up to us. I will address more about this in a future blog post.